


steady

by bittercrimed



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: ...or is it, ;;i promise that its not saihara or ouma, Angst, Angst without a happy ending, Character Death, Cutting, F/F, F/M, M/M, Major Spoilers, Oops, Spoilers, Suicide, Swearing, angst upon ANGST WHEN CAN MY CHILDREN BE HAPPY, dont @ me pls, if there is anything i add in later pLEASE, im just angst-, im sorry im just such a fucking oumasai stan, light fluff, mentions of child abuse, mentions of depression, ok ty, oumasai/saiouma is the main relationship, read the tags when i say to do so, read the tags!!, read them, these tags are here for a reason so please, this is a really sad story wtf
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-03 16:05:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17880902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittercrimed/pseuds/bittercrimed
Summary: read the FLIPPIN’ tags!! this story is full of triggering things. please read them before you move on. i usually skip over tags as i dont have any triggers, but THATS DUMB!! read the tags. thank you.***breath in. out. hold yourself.steady.steady.steady.***MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ALL OF THE GAME! DON’T READ UNLESS FINISHED.





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> read the tags. pleASE- okok i get this is real annoying, but im writing a hell ton of angst because cough cough, masochist.

 

    “Good morning,” was shared along the students as they entered in effortlessly. The class of ultimates, for the most part, were energized and ready for class. 

    The detective swung his legs back and forth at his desk, eyes distracted to the childish supreme leader next to him. Ouma Kokichi, they called him. The notorious prankster, who couldn’t sit still or stay quiet.

    He couldn’t help but admit that he was  attracted to the troublemaker. Detectives are attracted to trouble, Saihara supposes. Ah, like the upperclassmen. Kirigiri-san was attracted to, he believes his name is... Naegi? 

    Let’s turn back to the point. Ouma is  _hot._ Like, please date me levels of absolute hotness. 

    He isn’t worthy of Ouma, though. Saihara knows this full damned well. He can only hope and fantasize of the little purple, cute shitstain. 

    “Pay attention to class,” he thinks to himself quietly. Still, his eyes are on Ouma-kun.


	2. nishishi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres acTUALLY NO PLANNING FOR THIS BEAR WITH ME-  
> enjoy! steaming hot, “fuck this is a me s s”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no new tags, unnecessary to go back and read them.

    Saihara isn’t sure what to do, or when to do it. The sunset crosses the sky, and he’s still just standing in the same spot. “Boo,” a boy behind him whispers. 

    He wasn’t scared—no, really. More surprised. But his expression does make it look like he was absolutely terrified. So the natural response from Ouma was, he supposed, justified. “Nishishi~! Don’t worry, my beloved, it’s just me.”

    The detective sighs, unsure of how to respond. “Ouma-kun, what are you doing?” Ouma twirls around for a moment. Always doing more then necessary—often known as “extra”, but Saihara truly could not care.

    He finishes the twirl quick, and responds, “I just came to see what an emo like you was doing standing here!” Of course. 

     Saihara’s about to respond, but Akamatsu, Momota, and Harukawa all arrive. As Momota jogs along, he takes a look to see who his “sidekick” is talking to. His face scrunches up when he recognizes Ouma.

    “Gah, Ouma, you brat! Leave my sidekick alone!” He voice booms. Harukawa nods in agreement. Quietly, Akamatsu protests, “I don’t think Saihara minds,” but the duo beside her seem to not hear.

    Saihara quivers, Momota is too loud _tooloud **tooloud**_ and not in a good way, like Ouma. It’s angry, mad, and not playful like Ouma’s. He clutches onto the bottom of his shirt, eyes closed tight. 

    Akamatsu stares at him. Why was Saihara... shaking? She’s known him for a long, long time now, and she can recall a time where he’s trembled, but never this badly.

    What was a first case here? She’d have to alert everyone. Akamatsu couldn’t stand her best friend being so scared. For now, she’d have to simply wake him up. As Momota yelled at Ouma, she walked towards the detective and hugged him gently. 

    His eyes open, and he stares at the blonde. “Akamatsu?” “Sh,” she responds. So he hugs back. 

    “What brought that?” He asks softly. “You were shaking pretty badly,” she laughed, and led him to Momota, Harukawa, and Ouma. “Geez, just chill! You can’t go a day without bothering anyone!” 

    “Momota-kun,” he chokes out. The boy in question turns, now facing the detective. “Yeah? You want me to beat up  the little twerp?” Ouma is silent, still. “Please do not get mad at Ouma. I don’t mind his company,” Saihara admits, and Ouma grins.

    He laughs at Momota’s confused expression. “Wow Momota-chan! Looks like Saihara enjoys MY company!” His voice is loud, but in a good and fun way. That’s what he likes about Ouma. 

    Momota gives a dirty look at Ouma before looking back at Saihara. “Really? You like it’s company?” ...It? “Did? Did you just call him an ‘it’?” Saihara and Akamatsu say in unison. Ouma looks genuinely surprised, before his face twists into an unreadable expression.

    “Momota, I can’t believe you would call me an it! WAAAAAH!” Ouma cries, fake tears hiding the real ones. Harukawa sides with Momota, as usual. “I’m not sure if you’re really human, with how cruel you are.” The supreme leader smirks. “You kill people for a living, dummy!” 

    The astronaut growls and punches Ouma, but Saihara rushes himsef in front and takes the hit. “M-mo...ota,” he says, his face looking like he’s going to pass out. “A-ah...” He falls to the floor, losing consciousness. 

    Before he passes out, he can hear several voices. He hears, “Saihara-chan,” he hears, “Sidekick,” he hears, “Shuichi,” he hears, “Saihara,”. Fuck, even if it hurts, at least Ouma didn’t get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitch that shit was short asf. plus rushed. skskskk ill try to make the next one longer and better


	3. coffee

 

    When Saihara awakes, he recognizes the room he’s in. It’s his own bedroom. Typically—others would be happy to see their own room, but for Saihara, it is a fear. If he’s in his own room...

    The thought of it is terrifying. He doesn’t think about it. Careful to avoid noise, Saihara steps out of the (less than comfortable) bed and opens the door carefully. The scent of rotting beer is familiar.

    “Always causing fucking problems,” he hears his uncle growl. No. No.  _no **no** nono **nonotthis**_

Every voice slows down. He can’ hear anything but his uncle’s. His own thoughts become nothing more but a jumbled mess. ”Care to tell me what you did this time?” His uncle asks.  **(pft, asks** ** _? are we talking about the same uncle?)_** _(Agh, just shut up.) (_Yes, I agree with Saihara. Please be quiet, Ouya.)  **(It’s Vouya, dumbass!)**

Did... did he actually have a talk with  _voices in his head?_ **(Firstly, yes. Secondly, pay attention to your uncle! I don’t want to get beaten again!)** But Vouya’s warning is too late, and his uncle asks the dreaded question.

    “Are you even listening, little bitch?” His uncle’s voice is hard and rough.  **(That’s what she said!)** (Vouya, please.) Saihara just wants them all to shut up, shut up,  **shut up.** So he tells them so, and croaks out a low, “shut the hell up.”

    Except his uncle can  _hear_ him. And, not surprisingly, is very pissed about what he just heard. It shows.

 He grabs Saihara forcefully by the neck. Maki had done the same thing to Ouma, perhaps a week ago. Ah, he understood why Ouma was in such a terrible condition afterwards. It hurt.

  Really, that’s all he could say. Unless, perhaps, a more detailed version of what  was happening would be better.

    Currently, as of right now, Saihara’s body is being hung into the air—fairly 3 inches above the ground. His face is becoming a bluish purple, and anything he tries to say becomes a sputtering mess. 

    It _hurts._

He can still smell the scent of rotting beer.

  

* * *

 

    The purple devil swirls around his mind all day. “Save me, Ouma,” he says softly. 

     His uncle has never been a good guardian. Unfortunately, Saihara’s wonderful, generous, and kind parents had died—both dying in a car crash about 4 years ago. Leaving him in care of his uncle.

    Now, not to say he didn’t love his uncle... Yes, not to say that at all.  **(Liar.)** He still had a normal, loving relationship with his uncle. Right? It was just discipline.  **(You trying to fool yourself is so funny.)**

    Shut up, voice-in-his-head. (Saihara, we have names.) To fuck with naming the voices in his head. To fuck with that! (We have already have names, Saihara!) God, he needs some fresh air. Luckily, the two voices seemed to be quiet so he could have a peaceful walk. Thank god for that; the only nice thing they’ve even done all day.

    He stepped outside into the freezing cold; his jacket hugged him tight. Everything is quiet, cold, and he likes t like that. He didn’t know what he would do without peace and quiet.

    It is short-lived, as a familiar voice whispers, “Hi, Saihara-chan~!” 

    The voice of his favorite person in the entire galaxy.

    “Hello, Ouma-kun,” he says to the supreme leader. “What are you doing out in the  _freezing, bitter cooold~?”_ Ouma drags, giving a dramatic effect. Saihara replies,  “I could say the same.” Ouma only pouts and continues to walk with him. Surprisingly, he isn’t loud at all.

    Another thing he ~~loved~~ liked about Ko-Ouma was that he knew when to shut up. Ouma. Ouma. Not Kokichi. Ouma. Ouma. Ou- (This excersize of repeating yourself seems... useless, Saihara.) You’re useless. And weren’t you going to be quiet?

    That was mean to say. But who cares? It’s just the dumb voice in his head. He doesn’t love anything about Ouma either. Likes. Likes. Likes. Li- **(I agree with Kiiyokitsu! Boooring.)** Nobody asked for your opinion.

    The burning bubbling rised into his chest again. God, the hot feeling of absolute anger. Why can nobody shut up, shut up, _shut up?_ He wanted to yell, scream, punch someone, cut. His head hurt. He wanted to-

    “Saihara~chan! Don’t tell me,” Ouma gasped, “that weren’t even lis-te-ning?” 

    ...Huh?

    “H-how could you? I thought you really cared aboooout me!” He sobbed. That made no sense... “U-um, Ouma-kun, you didn’t talk for more than half of this walk?” He furrowed his eyebrows.

    The moment Saihara had said that, Ouma stopped crying. “Yepperonis! That was just a lie!” Saihara tilted his head. “...What?” “Mhm, your detective skills have caught me yet again, Mi-ster De-tec-tive!” He put his hand up. Like a cat.

    Saihara couldn’t control his laughter. Not anymore. He laughed—laughed until he hurt. That’s all he wanted or needed. He wanted to laugh.

    “...Thank you, Ouma.” The look of half-confusion but half-you’re welcome on Ouma’s face was all he needed in response.    

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! be safe, everyone. read the tags for each new chapter that comes out <3


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